the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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