tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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