I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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