I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
