you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
