your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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