so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
