I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
