home. puking in laundry basket.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
