watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
