hotel room ftw
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
