Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
