The maid of honor just puked.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
