Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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