I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We left the knife in your bed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
