you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
