if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
