He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
