I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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