Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
