Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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