For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
