at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
