I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
