they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
pray to the hookup gods
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
