You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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