i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
