just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
