this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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