Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I didn't shave. On purpose
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
