I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
