it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
