Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
