wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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