I seem to have left my pride at pride
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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