NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
