Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
