Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
