You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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