so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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