Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I could make wine with my vomit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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