how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
