she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
