i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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