Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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