For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
