This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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