i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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