Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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