I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
