the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
